The Ventriloquist Detective
by CloudyDayJoy
Summary: Satou asks Kogoro to teach Takagi ventriloquism… but since when did he know how to do that? Oneshot


"Good going Mouri, you've done it again!"

Inspector Megure's voice cut through Kogoro's mental fog like a car's headlight. A firm pat on the back brought him out of his sudden nap and completely back to reality.

"Hm?", Kogoro mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes, giving the world a chance to come back into focus. Then he shook his head to rid himself of remaining drowsiness and leapt to his feet while starting his signature, over the top laughter. "What else would you expect from the _great_ Sleeping Kogoro!?"

"Although I couldn't do it without my old pal!", he exclaimed with obviously fake humbleness as he pulled Megure into a side hug. Megure simply resigned to accepting his display of affection.

They continued their normal post-deduction routine of Kogoro boosting while Megure was too relieved to bother to tell him to tone it down a notch. They chatted for a little while as the police force gathered up evidence they missed earlier and double checked that everything was in order. After all that was left was paperwork, Megure excused himself. He had to head home before his wife got worried, the inspector explained. Surely he'd understand.

"Sure, I'll see you at the next case!", Kogoro yelled after him as Megure left, only to get some grumbling in return. They both knew that it wouldn't be long until they met again.

Alright, time to find the kids. He was mostly concerned about finding Ran, chances are that brat was with her. Or she'd help him find Conan. If the kid wasn't with her he'd probably need help tracking him down anyways, little weirdo had a tendency to get into strange places…

"Mr. Mouri!", a woman's voice rang out, interrupting his train of thought. Kogoro stopped and turned around to see Officer Satou running towards him while dragging her flustered partner along.

"Hm? What do you want?"

"Can you teach Takagi how to throw his voice? Lately he's been talking about getting into puppetry, and I figured you'd be the perfect person to ask! But this nerd was too worried about bothering you, so-"

Kogoro interrupted her by raising his hands. "Hold on a minute… who said I knew a skill like _that?_ "

Satou playfully elbowed him with a smirk spread across her face. "There's no need to be modest. We've both seen it in action, haven't we Takagi?" Her companion nodded.

"I've noticed awhile back that you never move your mouth during your Sleeping Kogoro act. Can't say I get why you do that, or the rest of your little show, but it's pretty impressive! Takagi didn't believe me at first, so I told him to keep a close eye on your face next time we saw you in action."

Wait, what? That shouldn't be possible. Kogoro never learned ventriloquism. There's no reason for him to do stuff in his sleep that he wasn't capable of doing while he was awake. But…. the Sleeping Kogoro had all this trivial knowledge that he never bothered to learn, mostly because the only time it came up was during specific cases. Maybe it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for his other self to be able to learn some weird skills too?

There would be plenty of time to think about the implications of this later. For now, he had to focus on getting out of this situation without either damaging his ego or worse, letting anyone know how clueless he actually was about anything in his life. So he decided to do what he did best: bluff and ham it up to avoid suspicion.

Takagi took his silence as a sign that he was right to want to leave Mouri be. He glanced at his partner, then used his head to gesture towards the door in an effort to wordlessly convince her to drop it. But she either didn't understand, or was too stubborn to give up now. So he decided to try to smooth this over himself.

"Sorry for bothering your, sir." Takagi said as he tugged on Satou's arm, not to force her away but to convey his desire to leave strongly enough for her to listen. "Just forget we said anything, we won't mention it to anyone if you're that embarrassed by it. I wasn't really all that serious about puppets anyways…"

Just then, Kogoro startled Takagi when he threw his head back and loudly laughed. " _Embarrassed?_ Nah, it's just not something worth mentioning compared to my _other_ skills! But it's true that I _am_ a master ventriloquist! I used to be the best before I gave it up for police work. It just doesn't pay the bills, y'know?"

"So it wouldn't be an issue to help a novice gain just a fraction of your talent, would it?" Satou offered him a pleading look while throwing an arm around Takagi's shoulder to reassure him. See? It wasn't such a bad idea after all, was it?

"Hmmm…." Kogoro put his hand on his chin in a thinking pose and let out an exaggerated sigh. "I'm afraid I can't do that. Between being a private detective and a father I don't have the time. But I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out on your own, don't give up!" He grinned and gave Takagi two thumbs up before turning to leave. "Speaking of that, I have some kids to round up, so if you excuse me…"

Turns out that he wouldn't have to go far to find them. As soon as he came into the hallway he noticed Ran scowling at him from a few meters off, while tightly holding onto Conan's hand. At first he assumed she had trouble catching the brat. But after she waved off the detectives, briefly putting on her usual friendly smile in front of non-family members, she started lecturing her father as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Geez, dad! Why did you have to mess with the detectives like that? That's so mean! And they're always so nice to us!" So apparently she missed the part where they came to him first, and just thought that he was pulling their legs.

"The only reason they believed that load of bull is because they _trust_ you! But I know you can't do anything like that. I remember when you used to put on puppet shows for me and dad, I loved it, but your voices for them were so _awful…_ So why did you think you could tell them…?"

By then, Kogoro was tuning out his daughter's lecture. As if it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. Shape up, act like an adult, don't be a jerk, whatever. He had more important things on his mind, like trying to figure out what this new knowledge about Sleeping Kogoro meant.

* * *

 **Author Notes**

This story is based off of when Satou noticed that Kogoro's lips don't move when he's asleep and toyed with his mouth (episode 241: The Shinkansen Transport Case.) I doubt she wouldn't talk about it to other officers, especially Takagi.

Asfor Takagi's interest in puppets, that's more of a headcanon than something from canon. But it seems right up his alley along with maracas, doesn't it? Plus he likes to entertain children, for the time being he'd use it to impress the Detective Boys, but it would come in handy when he has his own kids to watch...

But this story is about Kogoro, not them. This is actually a warm up for another fic I have planned focusing on Kogoro's thoughts on his other self. He seems to be aware that the Sleeping Kogoro isn't him, even if he's too prideful and concerned about his image to admit it. It's an anime original, but I liked how the General Hospital Murder Case (episode 83) showed how confused he really is about it.

By now I'm betting that he either thinks he has DID (dissociative identity disorder) or some spiritual possession going on. Even the later sounds more plausible than regularly knocked out and impersonated by a little kid, doesn't it? My next fic, "The Mystery of Sleeping Kogoro", involves him dwelling on it more and coming to the conclusion that it's not something within his own mind, but something supernatural.

Cover: cloudydayjoy. tumblr (dotcom) / post/173075490086

AO3 Mirror: archiveofourown (dotorg) / works/14359857

Google Docs Mirror: docs. (googledotcom) / document/d/1UBOjh6DmvDG4USi6hU_L_AO46DjTUylZXBREUbN4x7M


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